Scientists and resident Doctors from the University of Camden are at mystery to explain the evident increase in recorded hermaphrodites in the North West of Melbourne. Hermaphrodite as a condition is where persons are born with both male and female sex organs. This condition is very rare.

For years now local residents have been complaining about the relationship between increases in terminal diseases, such as cancer and leukaemia due to the toxic dump located at Tullamarine. This is now further evidence that toxic materials, especially those released in the 1970’s and 80’s when controls where more relaxed maybe having a detrimental effect on local residence.

Hermaphrodite recorded cases per year, worldwide is one in approximately eight hundred and fifty thousand. The recorded cases for the North West Melbourne is now five babies for a population of approximately thirty thousand. These are alarming figures based upon the percentage of reported cases.

After discussing this matter with the local action group, “Terminate Tulla Toxic Dump” they where not surprised by the findings. For years now they have campaigned to close the toxic dump down. The original agreement was that the toxic dump was to be closed in 1990 but still sixteen years later it is fully operational.

EPA has given the green light for the operators to accept more toxic waste. This has angered locals as originally the toxic site at Tullamarine was considered to be temporary. Members for the local action group all agree that the EPA has failed in findings and are concerned that big business takes precedent over the local residents.

Another theory is the dramatic increase in the past few years of convenient fast food restaurants. The North West of Melbourne is saturated with all the current major fast food restaurants. High in preservatives and cholesterol a whole generation has now been subjected to this highly deadly cocktail of manufactured and processed foods. In attempting to interview local restaurants they cared not to comment but directed us to seek information from their head officers. Unfortunately repeated phone calls made to the offices where not returned.

Discussion with local residents said they where very concerned about the health issues now facing their children. Frustration, anxiety and depression are some of the common aliments now facing local residents.

On a lighter note, one resident advised that with the increase in hermaphrodites plans are now on the cards to start a new dating service. Additionally and as an incentive fully paid for, it was suggested that the first date would be held at one of the “quality” fast food restaurants. The finer points still need to corrected as one major problem, is male/female seeking female/male? [ep[

By Will Burn

Warning: This story may contain some truth.

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